Since I'm back in Kentucky, I've been reading the local papers a bit. This article made me so angry.

The Republicans are up to it again. The article above is quite long, describing the benefits to the Commonwealth and President Bush, should Johnson not be allowed to serve his term (thus giving Sen. Mitch McConnell majority leadership). I'm glad my state could possibly benefit with better earmarks, but we all know the United States will definitely be better off under Democratic leadership.

Besides, the Senate has apparently never made anyone leave because of his mental capacities (think Strom Thurmond).

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Oh, it wouldn't be a Wednesday if Ann Coulter didn't put out another wonderful ranting. Since last week's column was as delicious as this week's, and because I, like all of you, have finals, we will combine her last two columns into one conservative screeching.

The sheer lunacy of Coulter's two columns these last two weeks raise new questions about her mental health. In last week's column, she advocates for torture. Reviewing an interview that Matt Lauer had with President Bush over the 9/11 anniversary, she claims that a) waterboarding (making someone experience drowning) Khalid Sheikh Muhammad is actually a "reward", b) Guantanamo Bay prisoners get "chocolate eclairs", and c) Americans actually love to know that we're torturing suspected terrorists. Well, funny enough, I know no Americans who think waterboarding is a rewarding experience, but that's very anecdotal. And I ran a google search and funnily enough, no chocolate eclairs have been served in Guantanamo, not even the ice cream bars.

But I'm particularly surprised by her allegation that Americans like torture, I mean, that's what I thought, but it's pretty interesting to look at the polling on this. ABC, the dastardly liberal news organization that is owned by the Disney Corporation (turning our kids homosexual with their singing mice), commissioned a poll that pretty clearly makes Coulter look like an ass.

According to the poll, 63% of Americans say that torturing supected terrorists is never justified. Wow, what a bunch of liberal lefties that live in this great country of ours. But that is just media spin, those Americans must think torture means ripping off people's limbs and feeding it to them. Waterboarding, forced nudity, electric shocks, and sexual humiliation are no biggies, and Americans must support those activities. Well, actually, not so much. According to the poll, only 16% think it is acceptable to sexually humiliate terrorist suspects (guess they aren't in love with Abu Ghraib), only 17% like electric shocks, only 19% like forced nudity, and only 21% accept waterboarding as acceptable.

Oh my God, or maybe I should say ya Rabbi, which is the Arabic, cause this nation is made up of a bunch of terrorist sympathizers. It seems that 80% of this country wants us to treat suspected terrorists with, dare I say it, a basic amount of human dignity. Astonishing really! But it's ok for Coulter, it's not like she needs to check her facts before she writes this bullshit. She's a right-winger, and when you're lucky enough to write this crap for a bunch of horny conservative teens who yearn for a date with Coulter at some club that sets Jane Fonda on fire, you don't need facts, hey, you can even make em up as you go along.

But Coulter gets better this week. Her piece is riddled with delicious bits of pure insanity. Take this, when she notes that antiwar Democratic veterans ran and won this year:

To the credit of the voters -- especially the American Legion and VFW -- the Democrats didn't fool enough Americans to even match the average midterm gains for the party out of power.

Well, interesting observation, Ann. Forgetting about 2002, and 1998, when the party out of power in the White House actually lost seats, but looking back before that, we see that the GOP picked up 52 seats in 1994. In 1990, Democrats picked up 7 seats. In 1986, Democrats picked up 5 seats. In 1982, Dems picked up 27 seats, in 1978, the GOP picked up 15 seats, in 1974, Dems picked up 49 seats, and in 1970, Dems picked up 12 seats. Now, I'm no mathematician, but if I'm correct, out of the last seven midterm elections, not counting the last two "flukes", the average gain for a party out of power is 23 seats, and if I included the negative outcomes for 1998 and 2002, the total would be lower. But funny enough, Democrats picked up 30 seats this cycle. I can't add, I'm in the SFS after all, but 30 seems bigger than 23 to me, how about you?

But Ann doesn't need to be correct about the facts, she can just make up her own.

Then there's this nugget:

But the point is: You can't run as a phony patriot and then claim your victory is a mandate for surrender.

Well, I googled every one of the new Democrats elected to Congress this year, and not one of their websites had the words "phony patriot" in them. And I googled the Speaker-designates website and she doesn't have the word "surrender" anywhere on there. Funny Ann, you're wrong again.

Then she goes mouthing off on the geriatrics over at the Iraq Study Group. She said that Vernon Jordan got his claim to fame "getting Monica Lewinsky a job at Revlon when she was threatening Bill Clinton with the truth." I don't know, but I think a guy who can find a job for someone in this economy is pretty impressive. But what's more interesting here is that Ann reveals that Monica was "threatening" the President; this new information should alert the Secret Service, and I call on them to begin an immediate investigation into this likely terrorist Monica Lewinsky. We really should waterboard her, since the American people would be 100% behind it.

Oh, Ann, give us more, we yearn for more:

Have things changed on the ground in Iraq? Are our troops being routed? Hardly. The number of U.S. fatalities has gone from a high of 860 deaths in 2004 to 845 in 2005, to 695 through November of this year. If the Islamic fascists double their rate of killing Americans in the next month, there will still be fewer American fatalities in Iraq this year than in the previous two years.

Admittedly, it would be a little easier to track our progress in Iraq if the Pentagon would tell us how many of them we're killing, but apparently our Pentagon is too spooked by the insurgents posing as civilians to mention the deaths of our enemies.

Moreover, it might seem churlish to mention the number of Islamic lunatics we've killed during the holy month of Ramadan. Half the time we do anything to them, it's "the holy month of Ramadan." It's always Ramadan. When on Earth is Ramadan over?

Well, I for one, am glad that 695 Americans have died, because it's less than the year before. I would have been even happier if 844 Americans died this year, because it would have been one less than last year, and that's a victory, especially when you compare it to all those terrorists we're killing over there. I mean, it's about 3,000 a month, and when everyone with half a brain says those are civilians, they're clearly crazy. Those deaths, all Iraqi on Iraqi, are actually American soldiers killing terrorists. The amazing thing is, that General Abizaid says there are only about 10,000 foreign fighters in Iraq total, so my question for Ann is, if these are all terrorists dying, we've completed the mission, right? Let's go home, then.

But I really got to give it to Ann, these Muslims really keep complaining that it's Ramadan, Ramadan, Ramadan. Well, Schmamadan, it's funny that Ramadan has been over for a couple of months now.

But Ann's conclusion tops it off with a call for 6,000 Americans to die necessary deaths in Iraq. Don't believe me:

If absolutely nothing changed in Iraq over the next few years -- if it didn't continue to get better and if the savages never lost heart (I'm assuming they subscribe to "TimesSelect") -- by 2010, 6,000 brave American troops will have died to prevent another 9/11 terrorist attack on American soil for a decade.

If that's a war Americans think we're "losing," Osama bin Laden was right: We are a paper tiger.

Well, great, four more years, 3,000 more deaths, probably another trillion or two spent, our reputation even more in the toilet and down the drain, I'm glad we have Ann rooting for the team. What a patriot that heinous (fill in the blank) is!

And seriously, in the comments, fill in the blank, and be creative!

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Sen. Tim Johnson (D-SD) suffered a “possible stroke” today and is currently in GWU Hospital undergoing treatment. His prognosis is unknown. Were Sen. Johnson to retire or otherwise vacate his seat, control of the Senate would likely swing back to the Republicans as either South Dakota’s Republican legislature or Republican governor would appoint a replacement, returning the Senate to a 50-50 split, with Vice President Cheney casting the deciding vote.

For now, however, let’s refrain from partisanship. Please keep Sen. Johnson and his family in your thoughts and prayers this evening.

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Ciro Rodriguez won a stunning upset victory in TX-23 yesterday even after this horrible ad ran there calling him a terrorist sympathizer. This gives Democrats 233 seats in the House of Representatives, to 202 seats for Republicans. This could still change if there is a new election in FL-13. But the point is that Democrats, with 233 seats, hold a larger majority than Republicans ever held during their twelve-year Republican Revolution. So for those pundits that say that this country is still a center-right, conservative country, just realize that Republicans have not held this large a majority in the House of Representatives since 1952. And by the way, of the Democrats' 30 seat pick up this year, only half were in states that Bush won in 2004. Therefore, even without those Red-state Democrats winning this year, Democrats would have a majority in the House of Representatives.

Karen Carter lost her race against corrupt Democrat William Jefferson in LA-02. This is a setback, but we will run another Democrat against him in 2008, and this time, we'll beat him, if he's not already thrown in jail by then.

Dennis Kucinich announced he's running for President again. I think Dennis Kucinich is kind of a nutjob and obviously far too liberal for this country, and as a passionate, hardcore liberal, that's saying a lot. But I support his getting into the race, not his candidacy, but his voice. With Russ Feingold out of the race, there are actually few, if any liberals, running in the Democratic primary this year. Barack Obama, John Edwards, and John Kerry come closest, but they are not down-the-line liberals, really. Dennis Kucinich adds a voice, for single-payer universal health care, for gay marriage, for ending the war in Iraq immediately, that no other candidate in the primaries will advocate. We are a big tent party, and it's necessary that we have all ideas in our debates this year, especially so the Democrat who actually becomes President (God willing) will have heard liberal ideas.

Barack Obama, my personal favorite in the 2008 race, gave a roaring appearance in New Hampshire this weekend. He was on the front page of all local, and most national newspapers, after a speech that gave an inkling of the kind of campaign he would run if he decides to make a bid for the Presidency. You can watch the speech here. By the way, for all those detractors that say that Obama has no pieces of major legislation with his name to it, even in the minority as a freshman Senator, take a look at this.

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Quick post today, everybody, in light of finals. Also, I'm going to be a bit more serious than normal. This is an issue that has been touched on briefly, but this article really hit home for me:

"Despite being diagnosed with severe post-traumatic stress disorder and rated 70 percent disabled by the U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs, Damian Fernandez has been called back to duty and told to prepare for another deployment to Iraq.

Two weeks ago, Fernandez, who was discharged from active duty in the Army last year and was working to settle back into civilian life, abruptly received orders to report to Fort Benning, Ga., on Jan. 14.

When the FedEx letter from the Army arrived Nov. 28, he calmly told his mother and girlfriend, "I got my orders," staring hard at them with vacant eyes.

That night, he snapped. He told his girlfriend, Riella Darko, that he wanted to die and asked her to take him to the emergency room of St. Mary's Hospital, where he was placed on a suicide watch. He has since been transferred to a locked ward in the Northampton VA Medical Center in Massachusetts.

His callback orders have not yet been rescinded."

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I don't know who, exactly, is to blame for this. Rumsfeld, probably, for insisting on using a light force (see: Plan of Attack or State of Denial). Bush, maybe, for starting this mess in the first place. I don't know, but whoever's fault this is:

That is the worst person in the world.

At least this week.

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Last week's caption contest winner: leaveonlyfootprints! Check his entry and others here.

Since Bush has to dress up extensively during the course of his job, today's caption contest features President Bush and Vladimir Putin garbed in another terrific costume:


Have at it.

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I love Christmas almost as much as anyone else. But I can't believe this. Click on the video at the right and watch it and give me some explanations in the comments for what you think the taxpayer money spent on this could have better been spent on and what things the President, his Cabinet secretaries, and his staff could have spent their precious time on more. I'm gonna say the war, but what do I know?

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On Tuesday, TX-23 will have the runoff for their congressional race between Democrat and former Congressman Ciro Rodriguez and Republican incumbent Henry Bonilla. This ad by Bonilla is shameless and doesn't even post a newspaper source to verify its claims. It's completely false. Furthermore, it looks like we could win this race. Ciro is only seven points down in the latest poll, which only had 45% of its turnout model as Hispanic. But the district is 62% Hispanic and Ciro wins Latino voters by a margin of 70-30. I think Rodriguez will win in a nail-biter.

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Free from the constraints of having to moderate (I guess?) his views for re-election, Santorum exits stage far-right with a bang....

By a vote of 95-2, the Senate approved President Bush's defense secretary nominee Wednesday... Two Republican senators -- Rick Santorum of Pennsylvania and Jim Bunning of Kentucky -- cast the only no votes.

I guess Bob Gates is soft on terror? Or homosexuals? One or the other... Islamofascism, we hardly knew you.

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This is the beginning of a weekly blog posting here at the GUCD blog called Queen of the Wrong. We will be tracking that blonde devil of a right-winger as she spouts illogical soliloquies about inane and irrelevant problems.

This week, Coulter's column (repulsive rant, more like it) is essentially a follow-up to her last column about Muslims and how we should ban them from flying. In it, she supplies us with words of great wisdom like:

After the attacks of 9/11, profiling Muslims is more like profiling the Klan.

Perfect sense, right? The Klan is a group entirely composed of lynching racists, who wear underwear on their heads and poke holes in them for their eyes. They all burn crosses, they all try to kill Jews, Catholics, blacks, and so much more. And according to Coulter, Muslims are kinda the same thing, right? I mean, they all clearly want to kill large groups of innocent people, and they wear turbans, right? And they like to burn crosses every now and then. It's funny, though, cause I just went to Kinko's and a nice Arab man named Ahmad didn't try to kill me cause I'm Jewish. He happened to be polite and courteous and was extremely helpful. Shame on me for not tipping the man!

In fact, I happened to go to Quick Pita the other night and the employees were extremely generous to me. Somehow, I didn't get the feeling that they were plotting how to kill large swaths of ethnic groups and burn religious symbols.

But what do I know? I mean, I'm sure than some Klan members don't really hate black people either. There are exceptions to every rule, right? Well, not really.

Coulter should just come out and say it, she hates Muslims. She hates them because they failed to convert to Christianity, a religion so peaceful that its adherents have spent two millenia killing more people in His name than other any religion in history. Crusades, violence during the Reformation, colonialism, do these sound like actions of a perfect religion?

Organized religion is inherently dysfunctional, and bound to get caught up in violence. But this kind of tasteless banter that demonizes all Muslims and calls for their humiliation and constant surveillance under a cloud of persistent suspicion is inhumane.

If I had my way, I would imprison Ann Coulter in the body of a man named Jesus Christ, a man who, simply because of his faith alone, faced nonstop persecution and eventually death. But what am I saying, I shouldn't be expecting a rigid faith from a woman who spends her life writing about how our society is not stingy, greedy, or intolerant enough!

In the column, Coulter mentions the Hadith, or the sayings of the Prophet, as justification of why Islam teaches Muslims to kill Jews:

At Reagan National this week, Rabbis joined the Muslims at the prayer protest -- though one imagines they did not share this prayer from the Hadith: "And the Jews will hide behind the rock and tree, and the rock and tree will say: 'O Muslim, O servant of Allah, there is a Jew behind me, come and kill him!'" In fairness, they usually save that one for the high holidays, like the "Festival of the Six Dead Jews" or "Honor Killing Week."

Nor this one, also from the Hadith: "The Prophet said: 'The Hour will not take place until the Muslims fight the Jews, and the Muslims kill them. The Muslims will kill the Jews. Rejoice! Rejoice in Allah's victory!'" (Is it just me, or might some fanatic twist those words into an excuse to kill Jews?)

What Coulter clearly doesn't understand is that in Islamic law, the Hadith is subservient to the law of the Qur'an, which precedes all else. And the Qur'an clearly states that Jews are a "People of the Book" and that murder of innocents is always a one-way ticket to Hell.

But what should you expect from a she-devil like Ann Coulter? I guess a post next week about how Asians should be kept from driving. It wouldn't surprise me. The Queen of the Wrong never does.

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Politicians get a lot of flack for their comments. Joe Biden made a joke about Delaware wanting to be part of the South because it used to be a slave state. But do we honestly believe that Joe Biden is advocating for slavery or supports the ideals of the Confederacy?

Trent Lott remarked that he wanted Strom Thurmond to have been President during Thurmond's 100th birthday party in 2002. He said we wouldn't have all these problems we have today if he were president. Thurmond ran on a campaign of segregation, now and forever. But do we really believe, even with Trent Lott's voting record on racial issues, that Lott actually supports continued segregation?

John Kerry made a botched joke and the media had a field day, but no one really believed that John Kerry was degrading our troops.

Howard Dean made plenty of gaffes in his presidential campaign and said in 2005 that the Republican Party is a party of rich, white men. He made a mistake, obviously exaggerating his point about the GOP's seeming lack of diversity.

The point is, we all make mistakes, we all say things we don't mean, we all exaggerate our point, and we all make sarcastic jokes that sometimes fall flat on their face and offend some.

Even Macaca Felix Allen, Jr. needs to be given an apology for the vicious attacks we laid on him for his Macaca comments. Yeah, it was hugely offensive, but do we really believe that George Allen is a raging racist who considers Indian-Americans lesser human beings, it's a real stretch.

We have to be honest; it's fun to attack politicians we disagree with when they say something stupid like this. But if we really want the media to stop being as lazy as they are when it comes to questioning authority on issues of war and peace, we have to stop feeding their appetite for gorging on the mistakes of politicians. Yes, politicians enter public life and must act responsibly, but they're not gods.

We all make mistakes, and when we do, we apologize, our friends forgive, we move on to more important things, and life goes on. Let's take that lesson to the voting booth.

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Here is a segment that has been shamelessly ripped off from Keith Olbermann’s Countdown on MSNBC. I will document the week’s dirtiest, scummiest, creepiest – in short, worst – people in the news. Use the comment thread to post some nominations of your own.

And now, without further ado…

Worst Person in the World!

Our runner up this week is Bishop Bonifes Adoyo of Kenya. Thought the War on Science was only happening in the US? Not so. Bishop Adoyo is demanding that Kenya’s National Museum relegate Richard Leakey’s collection of early hominid fossils to a back room for religious reasons. Leakey, a former director of the museum, is a world famous archaeologist, conservationist, and paleontologist.

Said Adoyo, “The Christian community here is very uncomfortable that Leakey and his group want their theories presented as fact…Our doctrine is not that we evolved from apes, and we have grave concerns that the museum wants to enhance the prominence of something presented as fact which is just one theory.”

Charming stuff, isn't it? Just a matter of time until they start talking about Intelligent Design, I imagine.

But…

Our winner this week is a Democrat! Yes, ladies and gentlemen, Senator Joseph Robinette Biden is this week’s Worst Person in the World for remarks he made at a campaign stop in South Carolina. Deciding to play to the “southerners” - or at least his stereotyped idea of them - Biden decided that some slavery jokes were in order:

“The senator…pounced on a member’s announcement that the club would hold its annual Christmas party at the state Department of Archives and History where members could view the original copy of the state’s Articles of Secession.

Biden asked, “Where else could I go to a Rotary Club where (for a) Christmas party the highlight is looking at the Articles?”

Biden was on a roll.

Delaware, he noted, was a “slave state that fought beside the North. That’s only because we couldn’t figure out how to get to the South. There were a couple of states in the way.”

The crowd loved it."

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Hey Joe, tell Trent Lott we said hello.

Well, that’s all for this week. Join us next Monday for your weekly dose of mild outrage. In the meantime, everybody, keep peaceful, .

and whatever you do, take care of your shoes.

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I'm going to try and keep the pictures relatively timely, but this gem from earlier in the year is just too good to pass up. Use the comments to give your most creative caption to the following picture:

The winner will be posted next Sunday in next week's Caption Contest. We want to give Speaker Hastert a fitting goodbye, so do your worst...

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Ripped from Wonkette, a clip of paleoconservatism poster boy Pat Buchanan making a fool of himself of MSNBC...



My favorite line:

"Hey Pat Buchanan! The fact is you and I both know it, there aren't ten republicans on Capitol Hill..."

"I don't give a hoot about the Republican Party!"

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Here is a segment that has been shamelessly ripped off from Keith Olbermann’s Countdown on MSNBC. I will document the week’s dirtiest, scummiest, creepiest – in short, worst – people in the news. Use the comment thread to post some nominations of your own.

And now, without further ado…

Worst Person in the World!

This week, our runner up is Colonel Muammar Gaddafi of Libya, who caused a diplomatic incident in Nigeria when he arrived in the airport with 200 heavily armed guards (diplomatic missions are allowed only eight pistols). When his guards were not allowed to enter, Gaddaffi stormed off and threatened to walk the 25 miles to the capital to complain. After a several hour stand-off, the Libyans agreed to leave their excess weapons on the plane and were allowed to proceed to the capital.

Oh, those silly dictators!

Our winner this week, in tribute to the man whose routine I have shamelessly stolen, is none other than Bill O'Reilly himself. O'Reilly recently said that Vermont should be forced out of the Union for electing Bernie Sanders to the Senate.

Media Matters has the video.

Bill, I think we'll be seeing more of you in the future. Somehow, I feel it's inevitable.

In the meantime, everybody, keep peaceful.

And whatever you do, take care of your shoes.

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